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What fresh hell is this?

Run little one dimensional duck with the Anime eyes! Look at the ancient symbols on Druid Pony’s hooded cape! She clearly intends to use you as a sacrifice in her ancient pagan ritual! She is already half demon herself, notice how you can’t quite count how many legs she has? OMG, little ducky, get the heck out of there while there is still time!

(Found on Amazon.)